On January 5th last year I decided I was going to meditate every day for 1hour for an entire year. That was just after completing my 3rd 10-day Vipassana course. I didn’t miss a single day. Not one. 💯
Never heard of Vipassana? You should definitely check it out here.
It was an insane journey. I meditated on planes, in cars, on park benches, airports. Most of the days I simply sat on my bedroom floor with my pillow under my ass.
Many times I didn’t feel like doing it. Sometimes a voice from deep inside called me to do it. And there was always this big demon of “obligation” hoovering over me. No matter what happened or where I was, I KNEW I still have to sit and focus for an entire hour.
Something like this changes your routine and life significantly. I couldn’t go have a drink after a busy day if I didn’t meditate first. So it was either wake up at 6am and meditate so I can be ready for work by 8, or do it after work. Gym days were even worse. Will I meditate before going to gym and push gym into the evening, or will I hit gym first and then meditate zombie mode?
I remember one time, just before getting on a plane to Mexico. I spent the night with a really awesome girl back in Warsaw. I remember it was 3am when we were falling asleep, but I had to go to the airport around 5am. So I covered her with the blanket and wished her good night and then instead of napping myself sat and pushed through the zombie mode meditation hour. 
The last few months, from around October 2020, the grind was really hard. I talked to my therapist about that, and almost decided to quit around November. You see, my practice was getting worse and worse. My focus was literally non-existent. So it was basically just me sitting and rambling on different ideas inside of my head for an hour. It was mostly grind and very little actual meditation.
Enough complaining, where’s the positives you might ask? ☀️
Well, I got a ton of ideas during meditation when my focus went away from breathing. So many business ideas, I literally planned meetings, distributed resources…all in my head
I thought about some of my relationships and other things in my mind.
It’s really nice to have a quiet hour all to yourself. No disturbance, nobody except yourself and your demons (or well, angels). And last but not least. I completed it.
In early Jan 2020, I was passing by Sofia, Bulgaria and met with some amazing entrepreneurs and friends for dinner. We shared our goals for 2020 with each other. My business goal was to find and hire a senior management team for Hustler Marketing. My Personal goal was to meditate daily for 1h for a year.
I’ve done both of these, but to be honest, it was more difficult to meditate.
I’m not saying it was easy finding the HM rock stars all through 2020…It wasn’t. I spent countless hours, tens of thousands of dollars and made many mistakes, including 2 wrong hires that needed to be fixed. But in the end it all came together. But all of that honestly can’t hold a candle to the effort of meditation. It’s probably one of the most brutal self-accountability things I’ve ever done. I don’t think I will do it again and I am not meditating right now.
I think I will meditate again, but probably in a different form. And I might do a Vipassana retreat again. But I don’t think I will ever commit to something so hardcore again. It’s too cruel to yourself. I’ve become a lot more loving to myself in the last few years, and this confirmed it.
🧘 The #3 Interesting Things I Learned:
#1 With a big commitment, it has to be all or nothing. I knew that if I missed a single day…
I’d stop before a year turned.
#2 Before committing to something big, think long and hard. Then think again. Because after you commit, there is no backing out. If you start and stop things, you will train yourself in failing.
#3 A serious commitment is measured in months, not days or weeks. The first few days of any new habit or journey are easy. But after that, the willpower starts draining out. The novelty wears off. Two things will carry you over the difficult stretches. Having a strong enough why, and going all or nothing (see #1).
Drop me a note if you thought this was interesting. I’m freeing up my mental space and obligations to be able to write more. Writing is mostly personal for me, channeling what is happening inside… but the external feedback also helps. Can’t say no to a nice carrot every now and then. 🥕
Metta, Bostjan
Written mostly on Jan 9, edited Feb 27Bostjan Belingar, Playa Del Carmen
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